Good evening once again. A quiet weekend in for me, which is actually nice because I’ve had a busy and stressful week. Next week probably the most important week for me personally too. So I have been thinking what the plan is next, in life, not what I’m having for breakfast tomorrow. At 24 years old I’m still undecided on what my long term goal is, I think mental health has halted my life quite a lot. Trying to find my feet again and wanting to achieve so many things but it’s not easy. I’ve always wanted to go travel, and not in a holiday style but to see what it’s like in other countries, especially poor countries, to see what the difference is. I fully believe that travel is good for the mind and soul, it also opens up a lot of different paths. I think a lot of people should be at least considering potentially going to other countries if they haven’t ever left the UK. Also because of the #Brexit the UK may shape up to be a bit different and it’s always good to have a back up. So what do I want to do? Ideally travel a bit, and work abroad, not being bar staff in Ibiza Rocks, maybe some young people support work. There’s a lot of companies crying out for people to help with the refugee situation at the moment, a lot of Brits already working out there to help them which is really cool, a lot of doctors and nurses too. I need to get in the right mind state before I decide to make such big plans like working and living in another country first though, I have started to see progress in myself but I also need to learn to do other things. In the last 3 years I have learnt not to care about people who bring me down or who are a negative impact on my personal life and future aspects. You don’t need negative people in your life, doesn’t matter how close they are to you. You will start to learn that trust is bigger than you think, I have definitely put my trust in too many people, like giving away raffle tickets and winning the “Stab in the back” as a raffle prize. Cut it out of your life if you want to move forward, I have got on with life by removing people from my life and for a much better life. I still have a few close friends that I can count on, but even now I don’t go all out to try and make new friends, you still have to be wary with some people. I ruined part of my life by choosing some people to be my friend, I learnt from that and it made me a stronger person. I can be nice to people but why be nice to people who treat you like a piece of shit? I learnt not to take any crap from anyone, it may make me a more negative and brutal person but I don’t want to be walked over again and again. I believe every person has to be given one chance, that’s what I go by now. I can’t afford to waste my time anymore, as each year goes past so fast I find that I’m losing opportunities to do something with my life and a lot of people have also halted me from taking those. I hate this “New year new me” rubbish, you’ll find that the people who say that are still the ones saying it 5 years later whilst others are actually doing something worthwhile (High five to those people). I think for now I just have to bide my time, I can’t force myself to do loads of things at once so soon in my mental health state, that was one of the reasons I’m in that state. I’ve got the motivation and ideas to go and change my life around, but having the right people around also helps that, so I thank you for those who have. Towards the end of the month I think I’ll take a break and go away on my own somewhere, gather my thoughts, take in different cultures and ideas, come back and rejuvenate myself and go from there. I’m not ready to give up, as much as my depression makes me want too, like I said I’m only 24 and have the whole world ahead of me so I can’t give up because people make me feel like I want too.
Thanks for reading!