– A wonderful day of football.

Good evening internet, I am in a happy mood. Why? This wonderful human below..

.. Graham Carey, yes, that wonderful man. Get in GC! As one bugger I know would say, “That clearly was a good ball in.” Indeed it was, a lovely curler into the net. A good performance from a team that has been hot and cold in recent weeks, especially at home. An important win over Morecambe increases the points difference between Argyle and 4th place, who is currently Stevenage Town, to 11 pts. With top of the table Doncaster winning at bottom club Leyton Poorient, it leaves the Greens still in 2nd place, but to a majority of the Green Army, promotion is what it’s all about. IMHO, I would prefer to get automatic promotion sealed, especially after last season. If we end up toe to toe with Doncaster Rovers in the last couple of games, with the league still up for grabs with promotion already sealed, then absolutely go for it, why not? After the blip that Argyle have had of recent, a 1-0 win against a good Morecambe side, with Portsmouth losing as well, is all in all a wonderful result. Argyle’s next game is ironically Doncaster Rovers, at the Keepmoat Stadium, K.O 2.45pm and also to be shown LIVE on Sky Sports 1. Quite arguably, Argyle’s biggest fixture, not only this season, but in recent seasons, in terms of where it could put Argyle at the end of the season. If Argyle win, there is a much easier chance for us to catch the leaders and grab the League Two title off their hands, but like I say, the main aim is GET PROMOTED! You bridders.

 

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A lot of the Green Army, after today, believe mathematically we’re over the line. As we know with Argyle, it isn’t always easy. If we can win at least 4 out of the last 8 games remaining, that’ll really officially put us over the line. Especially with the gap that currently stands at 11 pts. Others will say, 6 or 7, some will say 2 or 3 games. Anything can happen in this league, especially the way we give away matches sometimes, I’m still more than confident that we’ll get automatic promotion by the middle of April. There is a long way to go, a lot of miles to clock up, I hope to see a lot more of the Green Army in that time and really get behind the players and manager.

 

Another review of the promotion progress will be up after the Doncaster game on the 26th of March, depending on results, I shall be drunk and probably not able to see let alone type. Until then, enjoy the read and speak soon.

 

A.

 

 

– Recap

Hello there internet, it is me. Like The Terminator said, “I’ll be back” and here I am, don’t all cheer at once. Apologies for lack of writing, I may have lost my way a little and forgot about this blog site. How rude of me huh? Damn me to hell. Nothing too much to inform, lack of sleep has increased to a new record, now been diagnosed with insomnia, but I knew I had it anyway. I have now got medication to prove the loonity, hoorah! Hope you’ve all been well and still hope to see you follow my posts. Albeit a strange time to start blogging again, I found myself not being able to sleep again.. Shocker. Normally I can’t sleep because something is bothering me, when isn’t something bothering us eh? I got thinking and that’s where I lost the battle to my mind, but not the war. So here I find myself talking to probably myself, and the internet if anyone’s watching. Who gets that niggling feeling in the back or their mind reminding them that they messed up a long time ago and how things have changed now you made that mistake?  All the time. I know you shouldn’t dwell on the past, but sometimes it just happens and you can’t stop it. You can’t sleep it off, you can’t run it off, or drink it off. A particular memory comes into mind almost every day, of how I let a lovely lady slip out of my life at quite a young age in my late teens (I’ve since changed to the age 25 since my last post, god make it stop!) I can’t help but think if I did something to stop it happening, my life would be great and a lot different than it is now. Of course, that’s standard but again, I wish I had done something. She is now out enjoying her life with someone else a million miles away and I’m sat here talking to myself on the keyboard, wonderful.

I’ve recently been trying to find new hobbies, new passions for things. One of them being photography. I have always loved photography, I love seeing beautiful sunrises and sunsets, the colours, the textures of things, it truly amazes me how the world can look a certain way. I want to capture that, so I went and bought a very good 20 Megapixel Professional camera and I take it everywhere I go now. It’s my companion in life, I believe the best photo opportunities come when you aren’t prepared. But fuck you life, I am prepared. To see what photos I produce, take a look below!

You can also take a look at my Instagram account for daily photos that I take, search and click on @alexanderr__11 give us a follow and enjoy the photos!

That’s all kids, until later. Thanks for watching, stay tuned for more!

 

 

 

Lost

 

Where am I? I have no idea where I am or what happened last night. All I remember is taking a taxi and getting off, did I make it home? Because this doesn’t look familiar to me.  I don’t remember anything, it’s almost like my mind has vanished, it appears I’m in some kind of subway station but I don’t think I’ve ever been here. Or maybe I have but I just don’t remember anymore. What the hell happened to me? I need to get a coffee or something, if I can find my way out of here. It seems too quiet here for a subway station, maybe it’s later than I think, I’ll wait a few minutes to see if there’s a train. After 15 minutes of waiting the train still hasn’t arrived, I look around to find an exit but everything seems to be locked. Is this a prank or something? Am I in a dream? I decide to walk along the track to the next station to see if I can get out there instead. I really hope there isn’t a train right now, I need to get out of here.

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As I walk along the track I see a ladder up above the tunnel, I can’t reach it it’s too high up. I walk further on and I can start to see some lights, it must be the next platform. There’s a man on the station, as I walk closer to him he shouts “What are you doing down here? You can’t be here!” I explained that the previous platform was locked and I couldn’t get out. “Of course it’s locked, it’s not being used anymore” He replies. I give him a confused look. “This line hasn’t been used since the 1970’s, how the hell did you get down here?” He asks. “I don’t really know, I just woke up here about half an hour ago, I’m not sure what’s going on.” The man shakes his dead and shows me the way to get out. Finally I can get out of here and get home. As I approach the exit of the station I see a machine that dispenses drinks, I could really do with one so I put my hand in my pocket and take out anything I have so I can get a drink. I finally make it out into fresh daylight but I still don’t know where I am, maybe I was drugged last night.

I walk around the square near the station for a while, trying to find out where I am. I spot a help desk in the distance so I walk up and ask the person where I am, in which he replies “You’re in Berlin my friend.” How did I end up here? I take a map from the desk and walk away, still trying to come to terms with what happened in the last 24hrs. Not that I know much about it, all I know is that I’m going to find out some way or another..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello again! How is everyone? The last week has been odd but in a good way, probably the best week for a while. Had some social interaction which I don’t mind from time to time, decided to go exploring on the trains around Devon again which was fun. Met a really cool person as well, I do appreciate good things when they do happen. Saw some friends that I hadn’t seen for a while, hosted a BBQ which was really fun! The hangover wasn’t though. It’s almost football season and I’m gearing up for Bristol City in the Carabao Cup, extremely looking forward to it! Haven’t been to proper football in a while, soon that will be over.

 

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My sleeping pattern hasn’t changed which is a shame because I was really tired the other day and I couldn’t sleep. Sleep does effect my mood as well which just makes me feel lower than I normally do. Still want to look at going away but that may have to wait as I’ve spent way too much recently. Bleddy money. Hope everyone is well, more posts soon!

 

Alex

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THINGS ARE PICKING UP.

STUDIES.

A pretty unorthodox post at this time but sometimes the battle to sleep becomes powerful without realizing. As well as monitoring my own personal state, I do like to study other people, not because I’m on a course or anything but just out of my own personal interest. I look to other people to inspire myself and take on tips to improve my own self, people are interesting, in strange but wonderful ways. As a mental health sufferer I always look to help myself but also learn from other sufferers and non sufferers as well, but how can you tell the difference? Well there are some ways where you can see through people, in their body language and tone of voice. You can’t tell someone has depression by just looking at them, you might notice things about the person but it would be offensive to say “You don’t look depressed so you’re just acting up”. Possibly the worst thing you could say to a mental health sufferer, perhaps there’s someone I know who does the exact same things as I do.

You can’t see what goes on in a persons mind, behind every smile is someone that could be clinically depressed or happy as larry. It’s impossible to tell, and I don’t like to intrude so I don’t like to ask, then again, I wouldn’t like it if someone did it to me either, I’m a half open book most of the time. Can be ridiculously stubborn when I want to be, “I’m fine” but inside my mind is rotting away every last happy thought I have. I try not to let it bother me but you can’t change the thoughts you have. The only thing I can do is try, because if you don’t try, what’s the point? Sometimes my mind controls my actions, it’s part of the parcel of mental health for those who also know it or have had it in the past. Although I am trying to think positive if and where I can, I should be thankful for what and who I do have in my life. Of course we all wish that one thing changed, but you can’t change the past but you can change your future, whether you think you have one or not. Most of the time I don’t believe I have a future, whether it’s me or mental health talking, it’s difficult as I say, sometimes my mind controls my actions. I haven’t really been having the support I deserve in the recovery process I find myself in, but I do realize that there are people who are far worse off than I am, a planet of billions of people. Perhaps I feel a bit ignorant in that sense, I obviously do know that there are people who suffer much worse than I am, I’m just another person with a story to tell. I want to keep telling it though and I’m remaining positive that I want to be part of life whether depression knocks me down or not.

There will be more pages to cover in writing in the near future, I feel Word Press is helping me achieve that as it’s a place I feel safe enough to open up a little. Sorry if it’s boring you, I do apologize.

 

A

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FAILURE.

I’ve come to a stopping point in my life, I set out to become a success and I’ve become something I fear, a failure. I see so many people that I know enjoying their lives, married, the kids, the house and the cars. I’d love to settle down one day because I want to be happy for once, whether I have half of that or not, I’ll be happy. Looking back on my whole life and I don’t have anything I can shout about, nothing to impress anyone. I can only blame myself for things I’ve had and lost, although I’ve had a lot to deal with when I was younger, the loss of my Dad, my Nan and Uncle. I’m ashamed of my name, what I’ve done in life, I shouldn’t get gratitude for anything that I’ve done. I can pretty much blame myself for positions I’ve been in, having to make new friends, having to stick with a job, all of which collapsed on me. Although I can definitely admit I’ve been too nice to people who haven’t extended the same courtesy as myself, I’m disappointed in a lot of people I’ve met over the past but the real culprit is myself. I’ve been in a long battle with Depression and it has impacted my life in ways I didn’t think it could, it effected my attitude towards life, my attitude towards people including my Family, especially my Mother and her partner, unfortunately Depression and the mood swings cannot be helped or altered. Sometimes they happen because I feel shit and I can’t stop it, and also because Mental Health has changed me, deep in my mind. I want to apologize to anyone I’ve ever hurt, whether it’s something I’ve done or said. The first step to becoming a better person is to admit the faults that I’ve made, I hope in the long run it’ll help. Unfortunately I think it’s too late for apologies because the bridges have already been broken beyond repair, including my Family in which I completely understand if they hate me because I’ve not been a good person. Admittedly I have been hurt by a lot of people as well, which has effected my life in a lot of ways but to also become stronger.

A lot of people can’t admit the truth and it cripples their mind because they know they’ve not been good to people and I feel the same way. All I’ve ever wanted is a group of friends who trust me, like me for who I am, and I expect the same from them. I’ve also wanted a strong family who loves one another, always in contact and never have to hurt them. I have made some awful mistakes over the last 6 years and I am deeply sorry for those mistakes, I understand that it might be too late for that now. My current battle is my toughest yet, it’s provoking me from enjoying life, but then, I don’t really have one. The battle I’m facing is too difficult for me to keep fighting back, to become stronger mentally. It’s done that much damage that I don’t even feel human anymore, I feel I’ve lost myself, I’m sitting in someones body and they’re having a successful life and I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror anymore, who am I? A false identity in a world I don’t understand anymore.

The only thing that keeps me going is the thought that I hope I have a family that want me around, and that love me. That is the only thing that keeps me going, from taking my own life. I don’t ask for much, with all the stuff going on in the world at the moment, I just want to feel part of something, part of life, a part of society in which I’m needed, a family in which I’m important in.

Welcome to my mind, a dark place with very little light in the tunnel, no where to run and hide. Running out of options to keep surviving.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TIME FOR A BREAK…

 

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Hello humans. It’s been a pretty bad week for me personally, and it’s not even the end of the week yet. It’s almost been a year since I left the UK for the wonderful country of Germany, time has gone pretty fast, an adventure I need again. Life tends to throw hurdles at you quite a lot, you learn to jump over them but when stressed, the motivation to keep jumping sometimes gets too much for me. Over the course of the last 5 years I’ve had to deal with a lot, and I always dread what will come next, unfortunately it is my life and as much as you don’t like it, it’s part of being an adult – you have to deal with it.

What is deserving of a break? I guess we all think different when it comes to deserving something. Based on my last 5 years I don’t deserve anything, but what I could do with is a little break from life. I’m no longer happy and it’s eating my insides, I don’t know where I stand with family, friends and other things. It’s all a bit of an emotional roller-coaster at the moment and it’s getting to the point where I feel a break would be well needed, some time to think. We all look to improve on our life aspects, our personal aspects, at most I try to do that. Things need to change and they need to change quick, I know I’m the only person that can do that, to change my own life I need to implement change myself. I’m quite appreciative of what I have, and sometimes very glad that I made the right decision in life, albeit some bad decisions as well.

I put my self down a lot, possibly when I shouldn’t. I try not to get myself down because of one certain event or person, I fight through it and move on. I’m pretty much a closed book as far as things go and I like it that way, I don’t like opening up too much. Admittedly I do bottle things up and never release any anger or sadness, but as fellow mental health sufferers, it’s not always easy to speak to someone. Unfortunately I lack the motivation to open up to someone because I don’t want to annoy them, or annoy them more, people have their own problems to deal with. I am disliked by people, who isn’t? I have made wrong decisions, like many others and I fully understand where people are coming from. I haven’t seen many people recently, I can’t remember when I last saw my family. I do feel I have let myself go, physically and mentally, and I feel that I don’t want to disappoint anyone with how I’ve changed. Granted I let my self slip away and I can only blame myself, partially.  I don’t mean to disappoint people, sometimes it’s just natural though.

Where do I want to go with my adventure? Who knows. I’d like to go back to Germany, possibly some new cities to visit such as Dresden, Leipzig, Munich, Duisburg, Dortmund. Just a few of the many places I want to visit, but my heart has always been with Germany, regardless of political state. I don’t mind sitting on a coach for hours on end, it’s fun, and cheap. Plus you get to meet funny individuals, a lot of memories to be had. The motivation to do it is pretty easy as far as I’m concerned, but I feel I could get too comfortable like I did last time. I planned to stay 3 or 4 nights in Germany last time, ended up being 8 days. I do like the feeling of being lost in a place I don’t know much about it, it’s all part of the fun. I still managed to get around and back home fairly easily, but I still get the holiday blues when arriving back into the UK – who has it’s own problems currently, politically speaking.

When I get round to making a plan, I’m sure you’ll know about it but I can’t say how long I’ll be. I do need to get away for a while, just to feel a bit lost and different. Anyway, enjoy reading 700 odd words of me rambling on. Hope you’re all good!

Take Care

 

Alex

 

 

 

 

HELLO SUMMER!

Good afternoon, humans. How we all doing? It’s finally summer time, and judging by the weather forecast it will be a pretty hot summer especially in Plymouth. So many plans need to be made, quite fancy a travel around Europe again seeming it’ll be fairly cheap.

Waiting patiently for the new football season to start, no news as to what kit Plymouth Argyle will be releasing yet. We have had some signings though in the form of Former Coventry play-maker Ruben Lamerias and Player of The Season for Morecambe last season, Ryan Edwards, a defender. There has also been some news in the new reformed League Cup, now named Carabao Cup, a energy drink supplier. News came out yesterday that Argyle will travel to local West Country rivals Bristol City, in which I and the Green Army are very looking forward to! Something about a cup away game before the season starts really kicks the season off. Argyle have not played Bristol City since the Championship days, a long time ago. Very looking forward to visiting Ashton Gate again, this time in a new refurbished look.

Looking to plan a few trips to Europe in the mean time, with weather-forecasts looking pretty good I really do want to get away and bask in the heat in a European country. If anyone has any tips for me, places to visit. please let me know! Looking to cover a bit more of Germany and Belgium as there are a few places I want to tick off. Come back in preparation for the new season ahead which I’m very excited for.

More blogs to come soon..

Thanks for reading, folks!

Alex

summer

T

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

League

EFL League 1 2017/18

Hello everyone! Today I will be talking and expressing my views on the new season ahead. My football team Plymouth Argyle were promoted to League 1 this season just gone, in which I and many other Greens are excited in the prospects of playing in L1 next season. In this article I will talk about current transfer rumors, current odds for promotion and a quick idea of what our team will look like come August 5th.

 

So, first things first, transfer rumors. In the last couple of weeks I have seen many reports linking Argyle star man, Graham Carey with moves to clubs such as Wigan Athletic, Peterborough Utd, Bradford City, Portsmouth FC, Northampton Town. The only ones I can actually see being viable are Wigan and Bradford. Wigan were recently relegated from The Championship last season, after a poor campaign and various manager sackings. Wigan’s board will definitely want to back a promotion campaign after winning League 1 only the season before last, unfortunately for them, staying in The Championship didn’t last long. SkyBet and other bookies are backing Wigan among others  to get promotion to the division above once again, another two team who are favorites to get promotion are fellow League 2 promotion teams Doncaster Rovers and Portsmouth FC. After a few months on top, Doncaster fell off top spot and left it for any one of Pompey and Argyle to claim the prestigious League 2 title. After a gripping last day of the season, Portsmouth claimed the title leaving Argyle in 2nd and Doncaster in third. Argyle themselves are not backed to get Promotion to L1. Here are some odds below of how the bookies think League 1 will end this coming season:

 

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As you can see, there are quite a lot of teams fancied for promotion over Plymouth Argyle. Argyle currently sat at 9/1 to get promotion to League 1. Fairly reasonable odds I think, with no real major changes to the squad I think these odds are fair. Blackburn leading the way, along with Wigan, Bradford, Scunthorpe, Doncaster, Portsmouth and just outsiders Oxford. If I was to back three teams from League 1 to gain promotion it would be Bradford, Wigan and Blackburn. This years play-off finalists Bradford will be looking to capitalist on not getting over the hurdle against eventual play off winners Millwall this season. As for the outsiders, with Bristol Rovers only at 5/1 they might be worth a punt after a reasonable finish in 10th last season. Same goes for Oxford Utd at 4/1 closely followed by MK Dons, Charlton, Fleetwood, Southend, Rochdale and Peterborough all who are at 5/1 and 6/1. 

 

With pre-season around the corner, there are a lot of teams already doing the business transfer wise to enhance their chances of a good campaign. Argyle themselves have already made one signing in the form of former Hereford, Rotherham and recently Motherwell winger Lionel Ainsworth. A shrewd signing by Derek Adams, the player opting to sign a contract with Plymouth over a new contract with the SPL club. Having seen Lionel play his trade at other clubs, I can only base my opinion on him via YouTube, looks a very pacy player with good ball control with the ability to take on players with skill and speed. End product is lacking but Derek has been able to transform players since being down in Devon, with the likes of Wylde, Carey and Jervis to name a few, all have succeeded in the color of Green and White. I honestly believe in Adams to bring in some quality players to this club and turn this team, again, into another promotion winning side.

 

Keeping the back bone of this side is important going into the new season, I know DA will not settle with a relegation dog fight. Having watched League 1 over the last couple of seasons, I believe there is no real big difference between both L1 and L2. I’m positive that the likes of Portsmouth, Argyle and Doncaster who are new in the league can ruffle a few feathers and charge for promotion once again. Other transfer rumors I have seen and heard about on social media are Forest Green Rover’s striker Christian Doidge, here’s a quick report by the Plymouth Herald about the player:

“Plymouth Argyle have not made an approach for Forest Green Rovers forward Christian Doidge. Herald Sport understands that Rovers boss Mark Cooper has denied any interest in the player from the Pilgrims amid transfer speculation linking the two parties. … Doidge scored 27 goals in 41 games.”

27 goals in 41 games is fairly impressive, but do Argyle want to sign someone who has mostly played his trade in the Conference? In previous years, Paul Sturrock had signed a few gems from the lower divisions, one example is winger Craig Noone who had a good stint at Argyle when they were back in the Championship, later playing in the Premier League with Cardiff via Brighton. A player who is also a free agent, could we tempt him down here again? With reports claiming Noone was on at least 15k a week, would Craig take a cut to play in League 1? My opinion is probably not but it would be a marquee signing if he did decide to join. A definite brilliant replacement if Graham Carey decides to move on. One hot topic at the moment is recent player, Craig Tanner. Tanner has played two season with Argyle scoring a couple of handfuls of goals in his time here, although DA has expressed in games that he doesn’t like him. Personally I think Tanner wasn’t given much time in the team, in which Argyle fans were slating him for not performing. 6 Goals last season is not bad for a player who mainly came off the bench and only had a handful of starts. I would bring him in, make him a main man again, don’t think wages will halt a move.

A lot of fans will be hoping that the first game of the new season is a good away day, personally myself I hope it is away. The game I am most looking forward to is Blackburn, Ewood Park is one ground I haven’t ticked off my list, along with Wigan and Fleetwood among the other Lancashire based clubs. Blackburn away is the game I’m hoping for first but I would not mind any away game for the first game really. Looking forward to the prospects of London games again, such as Charlton, AFC Wimbledon. Then you have teams just outside of London like Southend, Northampton, MK Dons, Oxford etc. Very forward to the away game feel again, absolutely suffering with no football on.

As for Argyle in the weeks ahead, some more signings and hopefully a peak at what the new kits will look like, I’ve heard that we’ll be changing the normal Argyle Green to a lighter lime green color, not sure what to make of it. Here’s some mock ups that I’ve seen around the internet, highlighting a few of my favorites….

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These are all mock ups, although the ones with a dotted pinstripe style are what Argyle are suggesting, and based on seeing other kits it looks to be the main design of the home shirt. I LOVE the yellow kit, beautiful. The top two are retro mock ups made by someone on Twitter, although I do admire them too I don’t think that’ll be the kits at all. Based on the hints Argyle are giving, the color of the season ticket leaflets suggest we are going lighter green, almost lime – not a fan. My personal opinion is that the kits that are three in a row will be the design, the far right dark kit is what I expect the home shirt to look like with a lime away kit in the same design. I do love the bottom three designs especially in the color of the first two from the left.

I’ll let you people decide what your favorites are, let me know what your thoughts are on them. Also let me know your thoughts on today’s blog, leave your opinions on the comments and on social media.

 

Thanks for reading and you’ll see more blogs shortly as the season gets closer.

 

Alex